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My vision is to create a business from my garden, so that I can afford to leave my job, have the garden as income, and paint and write. I also want my customers to read the story of my garden, look at pictures, and get an idea of the process of the work of the garden.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

it seems that I am only interested in writing in this weblog every three weeks or so, and sometimes not even that. Obviously I am having a problem wanting to continue, and also am going through some shifts in my life, and during this time of transition, am not willing to put my thoughts down on paper (virtual, as it is), as even thoughts seem to be shifting in sands.

First my monthly report. Got through the election, did my civic duty, even went beyond the call of that duty and help to register someone, even bringing her to the polling place, even though it was not the same as mine. And when she encountered trouble at the polling place, stood with her and demanded that the workers there make a call to headquarters to find out what the problem was. They did make the call, and did find out that she was indeed registered to vote at that polling place, they did not take the time to look at the new list. Made me wonder, that in my only instance of helping a new (re-registered, actually) voter, and encountering difficulty, that so many others were in the same predicament. And therefore, all us voters, who naively assume that our votes count. Okay, I was not for Bush, could never be, and feel that with all the energized efforts the democratic party made to get out the vote, it still wasn't enough, but now it is time to let that go, and make a committment to stand with those who oppose the draconian policies of the right. Everywhere in the world. It is always, through time, the same basic struggle. Those who have, want to keep it all, and even get more, and those who don't have cave in, give up, are exhausted from the struggle, and need their defenders.

I have enough for today, and want to keep it all, and even get more, but there are many things that I am not willing to do to get more. And even know that getting more is not the answer for my life. My task is to learn how to open my heart more, to be more giving, trusting, joyful. Build character and let go of ego. It is an enormous task, to look at those things that keep me from opening my heart, to be more giving, and to be more joyful.

That said, I have managed to get back into my studio. Dare I fan the flickering flames of my art-heart's desires? If not now, when? I am listening to tapes that I got out of the library, and I love them, have renewed them three times. I also got them out of the library last year, my first introduction. It is about living your dream. Actually, first, finding what your true dream is, and then finding the way to live it. I have to listen to the tapes over and over to hear it so many times. The tapes are "Do It" by Peter McWilliams, and the text of those tapes can be found on his website, so you can print out the information for free.

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